" Seed Thoughts "
a poem by John Bruce Langley

Within the silent sorrows found in every human heart
Among the multitude of joy of which this life has part
Are known the secrets of each man by God and self alone
And may be well compared unto a seed which had been sown
Deep within the ground it lay... A planter put it there
The ground held tight its little seed with hopes that it would bear

In darkness it was harbored and later brought to light
That the holding of its contents would be kept from human sight
The pod began to open as the season swiftly passed
The earth pushed forth its hidden grain being manifest at last
Sprig began to turn to vine... More elaborate it had grown
Until in fact it reproduced the seed which had been sown

Thus take note my friend of all the secrets of your being
For the hidden thoughts of yesterday are the ones today you're seeing
Plant often good... Cast out the bad and let your garden well be seeded
With grains of truth, faith, hope, and love as they surely will be needed
And the Day will come when all the fruit be gathered in

The harvest vine... the grapes of wrath will be divided then
Shall we rejoice in harvest song as the reaper takes his part
It will all depend upon the thoughts we've planted in the heart

" Heart Over Matter "


Posted on Monday, January 15, 2007 | By Kaye | In

Being a " christian " isnt all about professing and letting everybody know that you are, it isnt all about reputation, it isnt all about ' fitting in ' to the latest trend. It is more than clapping our hands and saying Amen, it is more than warming our seats on Sunday mornings, it is more than all that and it really takes a good heart searching for us to ever realize- why we decided to become a christian...
Did we become born-again to comfort the unrests in our lives? did we do it to please someone else? did we became a christian to ' keep ' the family tradition? did we dived into it to cover up our sins and use it as a scapegoat? for business perhaps? did we sincerely started the journey, got bored and then backslidden for good? or perhaps still attending church and bible studies, for reputations sake? do we use Him as a crutch to go through life? What is it really? What does following Christ mean to you?

I have asked myself these questions over and over again, blog-reader, not because I doubt the faith that I have but because I want to make sure I am following Him for the right reasons and not for self-serving reasons. Because, you know what? its that easy to slip to the left or to the right, its so eay to get sidetracked. So, personally I find it important to check myself every now and then.
The world abounds with professing christians they say one thing and yet manifests another. Or sometimes not manifest them at all...no life to match the words.

To be a genuine follower of the Lord means we are bethroted to Him, its a love affair, its a marriage. It is about Gods great love for us. Come to think of it- everything He did for you, for me was all because of love. He took on OUR punishment at Calvary, OUR diseases and sicknesses, OUR damnation, OUR death, every evil and bitter thing He has carried to the grave. He made a way for us to get saved. And yet we neglect this great gift. We say, we claim, we profess we are christians even if our hearts betray us. Still we go on pretending...

I think we are running out of time friends. It's time to take things seriously. Its time to get real. Its time to dig deep into the depths of our soul and choose the paths we are going to take, and then take it. Walk it. Live it.
The christian walk is not a bed of roses, it is the fiercest battle we are ever to take on. The world, the carnal mind will never understand and will always doubt and ridicule and mock a believers decision to take this battle on, and why wouldnt they? they've got no eyes to see nor ears to hear what the spirit of the Lord sayeth.

Taking up our cross and following Jesus is never going to be a practical thing. It is, to a believer- a heart over matter decision, because Gods love is already sown into their hearts even before the foundation of the world. And that still, small voice will always be our absolute even if sometimes we are at odds with ourselves and with the world. We go to battle daily, we take on the reproach, we take on the persecutions, the fiery trials because we love Him.
To a believer- its not the rewards that matter, its not the earthly priveleges, its not the jewels in our crown, its not the roll call in heaven, nor the robes clean and white, its not even salvation... do you want to know the real reason why?

Its to just be with Him. Its just to be able to feel His sweet presence everyday of your life, its just to have the joy, the privelege of being able to serve such a righteous, loving, great God. Its the reality that we are going to spend eternity with Him. Walking beside Him, our Creator, our tower of strenght, our Hope. Its just that reason and nothing else. Just to be with Jesus.
A waste of time? a waste of effort? why would one waste his life away like this? not worth it? dont know what were missing? fanatic? cult? puritanism?-- Yes, to the unbeliever, it is. To the whole world it is. Except for the Bride of Christ.

...But this love that we have for our Lord Jesus can and will never be quenched. It is the tie that binds us to Him. It is only a small reflection of the greater love He has for us. I hope somehow you try to dig deep into your heart and really be true to yourself and to Him. He knows everything about us. Our hearts most especially. Let us do some heart searching. All of us. I think we owe Him that.
" But we are all as an unclean thing, and all our righteousness are as filthy rags; and we all do fade as a leaf; and our iniquities, like the wind, have taken us away...
But, now O Lord, thou art our father, we are the clay, and thou our potter; and we all are the work of thy hand." Isaiah 64:6 & 8
" I said, Lord be merciful unto me: heal my soul; for I have sinned against Thee."
Psalm 41:4

" The Sea Of Complacency "


Posted on Wednesday, January 10, 2007 | By Kaye | In

Everything around you seemed perfectly alright, there is no ground- shaking event that has toppled you so far, your mind? still normal, functioning. You still wake up the same time every morning, fervently breezing through your daily chores, routine and the days agenda. Working hard to feed the family, working hard at home to serve your family, studying, playing whatever you usually do in a day.
You've read your bible or listened to preaching tapes. You've been a good man or woman, father, mother, son, daughter etcetera...so far today. Your morals and values? yup, still intact. Everything is in its place, you think. And yet there is this nagging feeling that despite all these sincere efforts- there's something missing.
That despite the fact that you do love the Lord still there's a subtle unrest deep within and when you all of a sudden, glimpsed this strange cloud enveloping you, because after a series of mistakes, you start to wonder why?- that glimpse revealed that you have slipped into the sea of complacency. There you are drowning and you dont even know it. What a sad place to be, to be spiritually drowning. And yet we all slip into it, there are no exemptions. Yes, even the strongest amongst us.

Complacency- what a terrible word, it is defined as- " unconcerned ", what a terrible reality, it works like a magic potion. Indeed this is one of the many tricks of the devil, which lulls us into thinking and feeling we are still beside the Lord, still walking with Him, still communing with Him, when in fact we have gone another track. A track where everything seems the same and yet isnt. A track which leads downhill and furtherest from the Lord Jesus. A lot of christians get trapped in being complacent but it is a good thing that our Lord God Almighty reaches out to us, that He will save us from being totally drowned.

Some of us though do not take this matter seriously enough but we really should pay more attention because if we do not heed- we can totally fall. It blinds us. It rests in its laurels. It is self-righteous and stubborn, it bears many evil fruits. It is a very serious thing, fellow christian especially in these last days where everyone tries to, through their own merit, be spiritual or religious. It is a good thing to have that desire but we should come HIS way not ours. We should follow HIS path, HIS footsteps on HIS conditions.

And given the fact that everything now quickly changes from one thing to another ( esp. when we talk of morals...) its easy to get desensitized by the standard of the world BUT there is one true genuine standard of right and wrong, and it is Gods' standard. For true believers of Jesus Christ, let us lay down our life and fully surrender our will, so that we could love Him enough to obey Him in ALL THINGS.

This is a call for all of us...let us rise and bear the last leg of the race!
We should not let down our guards,we should not allow the devil to slip in, even through the smallest gap. Let us be vigilant, faithful, watchful soldiers of Christ.
Let us love Him with all that is in us because He did more than that for us.
He died and shed His precious blood because He knows without Him we cannot do anything, not a thing...not a thing fellow brethren.
We can never in this lifetime or in any lifetime, boast of any goodness in us. We were born with sin. But He provided a kinsman Redeemer. For you and for me.
Let us remember Him always, every minute of the day. May His word serve as frontlets over our eyes and hearts most especially.

May our spiritual senses sharpen with each passing of time and may complacency not dull our vision nor blind our sight.
But He who began a good work in you, in all of us is MORE than able to complete and accomplish it. That is His promise and let us keep that promise and hold on to it, no matter what the world says, no matter what temptations say, no matter what fiery trials and persecutions say. Because we are His. Amen!
" And He saith unto them, Why are ye rearful, O ye of little faith? Then He arose, and rebuked the winds and the sea; and there was a great calm. " Matt.8:26
" But though O man of God, flee these things;and follow after righteousness, godliness, faith, love,patience, meeknes.
Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life, whereunto thou art also called, and has professed a good profession before many witnesses. " 1Tim.6:11-12

" Home "


Posted on Monday, January 08, 2007 | By Kaye | In

I keep telling myself that retiring in the Philippines will never be an option for me,- it is extremely hot and humid, the pollution is unbelievable, and everybody especially family is always trying to interfere in your life, as if they have a say in every decision, action and reaction that you make...and I admit, when I came home for a holiday, I was in anticipation and was more than a bit wary about all these things. In fact after having been the object of teasings, to the point of being ridiculed and laughed at, because of my weight, a week was enough for me and I was raring to go back to NZ.

But the Philippines has its way of wooing me back- seducing me with her panoramic beauty, the smell of the earth after the rain, even the view of nipa huts with our amazing sunset as its background is really, without exagerration -breathtaking...everything that seemed normal and common before, now seemed refreshingly different. The food still appeals very much to my palate. I relished riding the jeepneys and tricycles, going to the wet market and watching my hubby haggling with the vendors, ha,ha,ha...And sweating! yeah, you hardly sweat in cold countries like NZ, even in summer, and I missed the way sweat trickles down my face. Jeez, I know blog-reader, strange isnt it?
I slowly got used to the way people think, their kind and way of joking and saying things, their humour. It was an eye opener. Life is harder than before and I admire my fellow countrymen for being survivors, for bearing all their troubles, for still being able to laugh. Its a good thing ( despite all the bad things happening around them ).

And now that I'm back here, I guess I really left my heart back home. Just the other day, I was talking with my friend Ruth, who is also an imigrant from S.Africa ( a lovely woman, by the way ), and we talked about how we miss our friends and family, our country and we both came to a conclusion- a sad conclusion, that the truth is: we're never really going back home for good, that the country we've left behind- won't get any better. That is the reality, although we'd like to think and imagine, that someday we could go back and live there again.

I know in my heart, I would love to, especially in old age, it makes me feel sad just thinking about it ( because it might not just happen...). But who knows ?
I remember, as our plane finally took off, high above Philippine soil, I took in all the vastness of the land until it faded from view, I didnt realize that tears were rolling down my cheeks in big drops. It might be years again before we go home...

" Special Thanks To Special People "


Posted on Thursday, January 04, 2007 | By Kaye | In

I want to dedicate this posting to all the people who made our holiday worthwhile and worth remembering. Actually the whole Philippine experience wouldnt really mean much without them, and first on my list would be the GUTIERREZ family- Tito Jun or " Architect " as we fondly call him, his humour and very warm and welcoming attitude towards us, " like family " really and Tita Belen or Mama 'B' - ahh- there are a lot of things I could say about her, personally- I am truly impressed with the way that she is and the life that she is living..her genuine love for the Lord and for others is really the light that surrounds her and apart from her outward beauty, that light emanates from the inside.I am saying this because I am blessed to meet a woman like her, I feel inspired to follow her footsteps, such a unique kind of person- strong and yet kind, brave and yet gentle, what a godly woman. Imagine if the world was filled with women like her...
Maxi, my bayaw and serenely pretty sister-in-law Ann, ( such a beautiful woman inside and out ) Ann- how could I forget our chats and musings about life and our husbands? ha, ha, ha I will always be reminded of her esp. when I cook my Carbonara. She is strong yet calm and gentle, like her mom...and of course their two lovely, lovely angels- Annika, with her pretty curls and charming ways and Gelo, quite angelic really, like a cherubim...We all fell in love with these 2 children, so much so that it broke our hearts to leave them.
Also one of the most beautiful couple I've met ( no kidding ) Kaye and Hartley, always ready to lend a hand- in our case her bedroom, for the entire time of our stay, not easy, tsk,tsk but she did it, and we truly appreciate it...and Hartley- such a gentleman and always there to volunteer himself without any hesitation.
To Jeh- who has gone from baby steps to milestones in her life...what a woman. She has become smarter and wiser in her ways and I am so proud of her. Her character is unique and tested by time and fiery trials and she has come out of it all, wounded and scarred but unscathed within. Thats how I see her. We have so many things in common cause were both warriors in this life. And for a time we fought it all side by side.
To Tita Tessie De Venecia, although we only spent 2 days with her, I have learnt a lot from her- little nuggets of wisdom, yet so valuable. I am glad we were given that chance. She talked about her experiences in life and was humble enough to include her flaws, her mistakes and the lessons she has learnt from all that...and whilst she was talking, I feel awed by the woman that she is. I admired her. I admired her strenght and her humility. I felt her love for the Lord and her joy and sincerity. Personally, she left for me, another footstep to follow like Mama Belens'. Bvette, who is really a kind hearted young woman, heavy with her first child, I do enjoy chatting with her...and Mike, who pops in occassionaly.
To Len also, I really want to say thanks, we hired her as 'yaya' to Joshua but to me, she is more than that. She has become dear to me, actually. At 16, without a mother, she has took on working for other people to help provide for her siblings and this to me is very admirable. She took on Josh and really did her work well, and despite the fact that we paid her for it, still I am grateful. I will pray for her and I do wish her life will get better soon, if not now.
I just want to say THANK YOU to all of these people. For making our holiday really special. May the Lord Jesus bless you and may He repay all your kindness!
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