Posted on Monday, February 12, 2007 | By Kaye | In
I have learnt an important and life changing lesson today at church. The Lord really spoke to my heart and opened my eyes. I have been struggling for quite sometime now...struggling about worries, cares about my life. I seem to have drifted farther from Him, like what current does when your in the water, getting farther from the beach without ever realizing it in a matter of minutes- slowly but surely.
That's what the devil does to us, friend. A slow and sure kill, a wolf circling its prey. I got engulfed by a bit of depression because that's what happens when you start to doubt the promises He's given you, I felt trapped in a heavy fog that I just cant seem to get out of...
I tried to pray and I did but it's just words rolling off my tounge, I cant feel Him- He felt so far. I realized, I had backslidden in my heart. And I admit, blog-reader, I really felt bad, I could almost hear my heart break when this realization hit me...He's almost out of sight, or so I thought. I was sad, angry for allowing myself to drift away. I also felt scared. Scared to loose my Jesus, scared to loose my Lord, as if it was a hopeless case.
BUT... this morning He broke all the chains that started to bind me, He cleared away the fog, He opened my eyes to see and anointed my ears to hear. He rebuked the brewing storm in my heart and calmed the waves- and for me these are not figures of speech, blog-reader, He is able, nay, more than able to bring that to pass. And He has. For me, He has. All He wanted was to keep me still for a moment, catch my hearts' attention, to give Him a chance to do something about it...and not just watch me go down, rock bottom.
BUT... this morning He broke all the chains that started to bind me, He cleared away the fog, He opened my eyes to see and anointed my ears to hear. He rebuked the brewing storm in my heart and calmed the waves- and for me these are not figures of speech, blog-reader, He is able, nay, more than able to bring that to pass. And He has. For me, He has. All He wanted was to keep me still for a moment, catch my hearts' attention, to give Him a chance to do something about it...and not just watch me go down, rock bottom.
Sometimes because I really, really want to please God, I just go on without waiting on Him, I put in a lot of my own effort to be a better christian. I try so hard, forgetting that He has given me ' rest ' from all worries and from my own works, in all areas of my life. I have this thinking that somehow if I stick to all the rules of christianity, I will be a better christian. But how wrong can I get, blog-reader. Completely, utterly wrong.
This is what traps many christians today. We may be walking in the middle of the road but when we allow ourselves to get distracted by the world, we get out of line in our walk with God. We try to to solve our problems, we try to do God's service without His will, we think we can help God, but it's not like that.
Then when nothing comes out of our futile efforts, we get discouraged, we let our guards down. The enemy, who's always waiting for a chance- will come rushing in at you, from all directions- attacking your weaknesses, putting thoughts and ideas, worries and care that are against the word of God, thoughts that are opposite to His promises ( all subtly done, of course ) then doubt will start creeping in behind you along with depression...and let me say that all these ungodly things are from the devil. We have to recognize that. And it takes Gods' light to scatter away all the darkness that tries to overcome you. Only Him.
And let me tell you- that He will rise to the occassion, He will not allow anything evil to touch you for you are His. Amen! We are His. He is our Saviour from the enemy. He is our Rock and our salvation. Jesus Christ is the anchor in our stormy lives, He is our hope, our help that never fails, even when the devil tries to convince you otherwise...He will not let you down.
Two things He has shown me: first I should cast all my cares upon Him, ALL. And leave it there with Him, to not go back to it anymore...second, how important it is to go to fellowship- church. Because by the washing of the Word we are being cleansed, by hearing the Word He can talk to you, He can shine his light in the dark places of your heart- expose what is wrong, show you where you've tripped and fallen and give you hope in Him, so we could get up again, refreshed and renewed, to draw strenght from Him and not from our own resources.
Because that is our only chance. That is God's provided way. And if we truly love Him, we will abide in His word.
Now, I feel different, I felt all the weight lift off from me. I can feel God's sweet presence again, sitting in heavenly places in Christ Jesus. Isnt that awesome? we have a great God. He is the sheperd of our soul and He is on our side- what an honour, what a privelege. And I really appreciate our Lord Jesus, His nature, His just and loving ways, His patience with me. I know for sure that without Him I am lost. He is real in my life, He isnt a figment of my imagination. He has done wonderful things for me.
This is my testimony. Though your sin be as red as scarlet, He can wash it as white as snow...only believe, my friend, dont loose hope.
