Posted on Wednesday, May 05, 2010 | By Kaye | In encouragement , faith , hope
"We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be." CS LewisThe saying 'when life throws you lemons, make lemonade!' is quite tempting at this time in my life and I usually am optimistic. I try to find the good in everything- even in the worst of times. Although right now with what I am going through as a parent, I have to admit, I've lost all motivation and sometimes strength and I do not really know why, maybe because I feel defeated. I know oftentimes we need to fight against things, because after all we are in a battle but I realized that there are times when we just have to let go.
In my case, it just hurts so much and if I can only find the 'off'' switch to my emotions, I would shut it down without batting an eyelash but I can't. There seem to be a dull ache sitting in my heart, all because I am a mother and I care, deeply.
I am reminded of Abraham, when the Lord asked him to sacrifice Isaac. I now understand the turmoil that must have gone through inside him and yet he willingly would have done it for my Lord. What love for his God, it's just amazing. He trusted the Lord with everything. I hope that I'd get to that place too and maybe this trial is part of my spiritual training- to learn to let go of everything... Perhaps it is time to flap my faith wings and fly a little higher.
I know I have trusted Him a lot of times in the past, with trials that are similar in nature, but the one I am dealing with now is totally different and unexpected, so I am having a hard time making sense of it all because I just can't wrap my head around it, I simply cannot comprehend the reasonings and logic. One thing's for sure though, the arrow went straight for my heart and bull's eyed it- and it hurts :( I feel overwhelmed and sad but if the Lord thinks that I have to be broken yet again then so be it, for He is the potter and I am a willing clay. He knows what is best for me and for my daughter, I just have to have Abraham's faith. And of course, prayers...lots of prayers. It hurts I know, but we will all learn something from this. I would have to hang all my hope on God's promise in Romans 8:28 which says
"...all things work for good to them that love God..."
Glory to the Lord God Almighty. May He work His perfect will in our lives always...
I am sorry you are having a difficult time.
I truly believe that God never sends us a burden too heavy for us to bear.
It is in our most challenging times that we have the opportunity to grow spiritually. If we have been given something very painful to deal with, we have the gift of using that expereince to share our strength and hope with another person in the future and help them through a similarly difficult time.
Nothing happens in God's world by mistake.
God Bless.
Juliana